Just what is the lie?

Ramona Smollons, just seventeen, huge fan of Rita Hayworth, meets a man with fingers that each look like a penis. Of course, she doesn’t say that out loud. This fiction book takes place in “1950’s America”, and nice girls don’t say, or even think, those sorts of thoughts. Ramona finds herself enamored with this man, despite his odd looking fingers, and even becomes a bit obsessed about him. She loses interest just as fast, but marries him anyway. So, perhaps “The Lie” is that true love never fades. Or maybe “The Lie” is that thoughts of a sexual nature are bad, wrong, and something nice girls never conceive of. “The Lie” could be that once you get married, your life effortlessly becomes the “happily ever after”, just like it says in the storybooks from childhood.

The book is written in a stream of consciousness that allows the reader to watch as Ramona quickly goes insane. She is haunted by her dead father, and the memories of things that happened between him and her. What exactly happened is left a bit vague, and it is not something Ramona talks about. It is something her mother adamantly denies ever happened, which makes Ramona confused and upset. Ramona believes that her dead father is haunting her, that she can see his ghost, and that he is forever disapproving of her. Maybe “The Lie” is the difference between reality and what you see when you are losing your mind.

Ramona’s mother is one of the most narcissistic characters I have encountered in a book in a long time. This woman is content to sit and stare into mirrors, gazing into her own reflection, for hours at a time. Ramona lives to please her, hoping for affection that her mother is simply not capable of giving to anyone other than herself. Between her negligent mother, and her abusive father, it’s clear that Ramona had a horrible childhood. So, maybe “The Lie” is that parents always do what is best for their children, and love them unconditionally.

Ramona has a problem that she cannot talk about with anyone, and has difficulty even thinking about. She feels “like a block of wood” “down there”. In short, she does not enjoy sex, never orgasms, and feels that this means she is damaged goods. But, instead of seeking help, she decides to fake it, in order to make her husband feel good, and protect his self esteem. Ramona compares herself unfavorably to Rita Hayworth, who, to her, represents female sexuality itself. If Rita can become so sexually responsive in the movies from one kiss, or one touch, then something most be seriously wrong with Ramona, who feels nothing, or so Ramona has convinced herself. Maybe “The Lie” is that women never fake orgasms, or conversely, “The Lie” is that ALL women are as easily aroused as film starts appear to be.

Naturally, Ramona starts having problems in her marriage. She becomes convinced that not only is her husband cheating on her, but that he is cheating on her with none other than Rita Hayworth. He, of course, denies it. So now, “The Lie” had become Ramona’s husband’s denial of an affair she believes he is continuing to have.

This is not an easy book to read, due to the style of writing. However, I like how Wagman puts the reader inside Ramona’s head, as she loses her mind. It’s intense! On the other hand, whenever you sit that far inside a character’s head, especially a character that is going crazy, things become unclear. Readers might find that they love how they can come to their own conclusions about what is truth, and what is a lie in this story. Or, they might find themselves going just as nuts as Ramona, trying to sort it all out. This is a book that doesn’t fit easily inside a genre, or easily inside the boundaries of “real” and “imagined”.