Your Movie Sucks is a collection of movie reviews written by film critic Roger Ebert. All of the films covered in the book received two-star or lower reviews by Ebert, and this is the inspiration for the book’s title. And while many of the films mentioned in the book do indeed suck, Ebert’s reviews definitely do not. What makes Ebert really more of a writer than just a “critic” is his ability to interject humor, disappointment, frustration and sometimes even anger into his reviews. It all makes for an entertaining read, and at times, takes the tone of a disappointed parent chiding a youngster for bad behavior. It’s like Ebert just expects more from filmmakers. And maybe the real lesson here is that we all should expect more from Hollywood, instead of giving up our hard-earned dollars for products like Battlefield Earth and Pearl Harbor. But as long as the movie industry continues to churn out crap, we can be assured that Ebert will be there to warn us, and if nothing else, we can always look forward to Your Movie Sucks II: Seriously. It Really Sucks.

If you are at all familiar with the work of Frank Lloyd Wright, you will enjoy the parts of this book that describe not only his buildings, but also what he was thinking about when he designed them. You can almost see the buildings taking shape. This is a work of fiction, based on actual events (mostly derived from newspapers of the time, and a few letters that survived). The book is about the affair that Wright had with Mamah (pronounced May-mah), Cherry, something that was a huge scandal at the time. The entire affair is told to the reader through Mamah’s eyes, leaving Frank to be somewhat of a mystery. Which he kind of was.

Mamah is married to Edwin, and, though they have two children, and the marriage isn’t a bad one, she is unhappy. In her eyes, she and Edwin just don’t really connect. Edwin, for the most part, is completely oblivious to Mamah’s growing restlessness.

Edwin and Mamah commission an up-and-coming architect to design and build one of his “Prairie Homes” for them. Mamah and Frank meet for the first time, and there is an instant attraction between the two. Frank is married as well, (with children), and his wife is part of the social circle that all of them are friends with. Both know they cannot be together, but, they also can’t seem to get enough of each other.

It starts small. Mamah invites Frank’s wife to social events, hoping to see Frank. Frank comes over to talk to Mamah about the house plans. They talk to each other more than either one talks to their own spouse, and find they have a lot in common, including a love of nature. Frank is also in an unhappy marriage, and has been feeling very distant from his wife for years before meeting Mamah. Both are so lonely, despite having large families.

Naturally, an affair starts.

Mamah finds herself making some incredibly difficult choices. Should she leave Edwin? Should they divorce? This was at a time when it wasn’t easy to get a divorce at all, but especially if the divorce was initiated by a woman. Mamah would risk everything if she tried to get divorced. She could lose her children forever. She would definately have a difficult time getting a job, because people at the time did not want to hire divorced women, and also because she would not have any job skills. Edwin could simply refuse to grant Mamah a divorce, and what would happen then? What about the children? Should Mamah take them with her if she leaves Edwin for Frank, or should she leave them behind, essentially abandoning them?

Frank doesn’t exactly have it easy either. His wife won’t sign the divorce papers. His money is running out, and he has a huge debt. His children won’t see him. Frank is losing a lot to be with Mamah, including his reputation. Once the newspapers find out about the affair, they do what newspapers do best : gossip about people in the public eye! Truth and lies become inseperable, and Frank loses some commissions because of this.

It becomes a question of desire. Is it better to stay in a life that is stable, but stale and lifeless, or, to risk losing everything for a chance at true passion?

This book is a work of historical fiction, that takes place in the late 1800s and very early 1900s. That’s about 100 years ago, but it feels very modern. I was very impressed at how detailed a story Horan was able to create, considering she had so little data to work with. Readers from the Midwestern United States will recognize Oak Park, (where it all started), as well as some of the other midwestern places this book is set in.

I love books that contain a bunch of short stories! These are not easy to find, particularly books that contain short stories all by the same author. It seems that in order to get a publisher to let you do a book full of short stories, you must first become a famous, money making, author. Otherwise, your short stories are destined to become part of an anthology with a whole group of less well known, (or completely unknown) authors, or in some of the literary magazines that print short stories. The less lucky authors of short stories will end up with their stories in a box in their closet, or, taking up space on their computers. Koontz includes at the end of the book a little note (of sorts) for readers, describing his own experiences trying to get his short stories published.

The title of the book “Strange Highways” comes from the very first story in the book. It is one of the longer short stories in this collection. Joey Shannon, a forty year old alcoholic, goes back to his hometown to make arrangements for his father’s funeral. He thinks back to all the times he disappointed his father, and his mother, and drinks some more. He thinks about his amazingly successful older brother, P.J., who has become a famous writer, traveling the globe, and sending money back to his father. Much is said about the funeral, about how the other people in the town also disapprove of Joey, and how badly his drinking has affected him. I found the first part of this story so dark and depressing that I seriously considered giving up and moving on to the next story.

The story got better, (but remained dark). Joey starts “seeing” a dead woman, who is reaching out to him. No one else can see this woman, and so, Joey assumes he is hallucinating. On the way out of town, Joey sees a road that should not exist, because the town removed it years ago. The houses located beyond the road were located on a fault line, of sorts, and ended up being torn down as well. He thinks back to a fateful night when he was back in high school, and something P.J. convinced him to keep secret. This road that should not be, this “strange highway” turns out to be Joey’s salvation. He gets transported back in time, to that very important night, and given the chance to make things right. The rest of the story is a combination of an incredibly suspenseful chase between the two brothers, and a whole lot of Christian symbols and iconography. Not my favorite story in the book, by far, but, a good read nonetheless.

There are a total of fourteen stories in this collection, all of which are dark, scary, and creepy in a number of ways. My overall impression after reading all the stories is that there was an underlying theme of “you get what you deserve”. The evil are punished, or, at least stopped in some way. Bad actions reap bad consequences. The innocent are saved, rescued, or rewarded in some way. If you happen to be angry at someone, this book will serve as a virtual way to exact revenge on that person, as you harmlessly substitute them for one of the evil characters.

My absolute favorite story is the second one, called “The Black Pumpkin”. Halloween is my favorite holiday, and so, this story caught my attention right away. Tommy, an eleven year old, visits one of those places selling pumpkins under a tent around Halloween. He goes with his father, and his slightly older brother, Frank. An old, extremely creepy man sits towards the back, surrounded by the pumpkins he has hand carved and decorated. Frank becomes enamored with a large, black pumpkin that is misshapen, has wart like growths, and sharp teeth. The old man says that people are to pay for his pumpkins the same as the not yet carved ones, and “only give me what you wish, you get what you give”. Ominous! Frank, being the nasty kid he is, gives the old many only a nickel. Tommy goes home terrified about what will happen that night, what the pumpkin will do. The old man gives him a warning, of sorts, but that doesn’t make things easier. Freaky story, with an element of Grimm’s fairy tales in it. My favorite, by far!

“Miss Attila the Hun” is a story about alien abduction (in a particularly gruesome way), and a tough teacher who tries to save the town.

“Down in the Darkness” made me cringe the entire time I was reading it! Recent immigrant finally saves up enough to buy his family a big house. The house comes with a door to a basement that only he can see, and the basement contains something horrible, that wants to be fed. There are some real world elements in this story that just make me sick to my stomach, because Koonts references some horrible things that really did happen to some people.

“We Three” and “Kittens” involve children, who are attempting (in very different ways), to punish the adults in charge of them for the perceived mistreatment they children believe they have received from said adults. These are some of the shortest stories in the book, and both gave me chills, which continue as I write this and think about each story. If you are going to read only one story in this collection, it should be one of these two. You won’t be disappointed.

There is one story that gives the reader some comic relief, but still manages to be scary. “Bruno” is about a detective, who finds a man-bear that appears in his living room. Bruno is from some other dimension, tracking a bad guy, and the main character, who happens to be a detective, decides to help him. All sorts of interesting information spills out about the differences between Bruno’s world, and ours. Wait until you read who made Bruno’s gun! Fans of Simon Green will like this story best.

There are a few more stories in this collection that I didn’t even mention, for you to discover on your own.

To be honest, I have mixed feelings about this book.

Nineteen minutes is about a school shooting, a subject that makes both scares me and interests me at the same time. (The title comes from how long it took for the whole shooting incident to occur, from start to end). I have conflicting emotions, and wasn’t at all sure how reading this book would make me feel. The topic itself freaks me out. Columbine wasn’t that long ago, and Virginia Tech feels like it was yesterday. Back when I was still working as a Substitute Teacher, I had more than a few nightmares about what might happen if a student decided to bring a gun into a classroom I was in charge of, or into a school I was randomly assigned to one day. Ultimately, what made me decide to read this particular book anyway was Picoult’s reputation. Everyone I have heard tell me about her work just raves about it. I wanted to see if she was as good a writer as I’d been led to believe.

Picoult’s book is fiction, and not based on any real live events from any particular school shooting incident. I found it to be a very intense read, despite the fact that I knew it wasn’t a true story. It starts out taking the reader through one fateful day in a high school, right before things started blowing up, and shots were fired. In this chapter, the reader gets a little tiny bit that introduces many of the main characters, one right after the other. I found it confusing, at first, and it was difficult to get a good sense of who was who, and just what each character was like. At first, it felt like too much information, too fast, with not enough detail. Then, Picoult takes us through the school day, from many of the different character’s points of view. Just when I was thinking “Ok, so, when is this going to go somewhere?”, an explosion happens. What a powerful way to end a chapter!

From there, Picoult jumps around in time, and ends up giving us all the missing details about her characters. There is so much depth in each one. Josie is a high school student, who is with “the in crowd”, (but secretly considering suicide). Her boyfriend, Matt, is the most popular athlete in the high school, (who secretly has a controlling, and sometimes violent side). Peter is the kid that everyone picks on, and has been that kid since his very first day of kindergarten, (but for years, secretly, he and Josie were best friends). It’s no secret to the reader that Peter is the shooter. What is a mystery is just what set Peter off that particular day, and what, exactly, happened once Peter arrived at school that morning.

This takes place in a small town, where everyone knows everyone else, and has for years. I think this makes things that much more tragic. They all function like a huge family, and suddenly, so many people were lost, forever. It also makes things stickier. Alex is Josie’s mom, but she is also the judge who will have to try this case. Can she really be unbiased? Will Josie be able to testify, if her mom is the judge? Should she recuse herself, or try the case, based on her personal involvement? Which is worse? Lacy is Peter’s mom, and also the nurse that helped Alex when she gave birth to Josie. The two women were friends (like Josie and Peter were friends), until one fateful day, when something scary happens at Peter’s house, and Alex decided Josie cannot be friends with Peter anymore. That particular event seems like a giant flashing light of foreshadowing, and the question becomes, can Alex try this case fairly, considering what she thinks about that one incident that happened so long ago? Lacy finds that she can’t go anywhere in town, without being stared at. (There goes the mother of the shooter.) Peter’s father was a professor, that did lectures on happiness, and now, he finds himself having a nervous breakdown. The lawyer who defends Peter finds his tires slashed, by angry townspeople who cannot see how anyone could defend the teen who killed so many other teens. Should the town close the high school where the shooting happened for a little while, or tare it down and build a new one, that won’t hold that stigma, instead? It’s very intertwined.

Picoult is an excellent writer. Her book held my interest the entire time, and I like how she slowly gave the reader little pieces of the big picture of what really happened that day. Most of it seemed very believable to me, except for one major plot point at the end. Josie is having trouble remembering the events of that day, and everyone believes it is because her boyfriend Matt was shot and killed, while she was standing inches away from him, watching. She herself was injured, and knocked out. It seems logical that Josie can’t remember because she is still in shock, or is experiencing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or maybe just hit her head when she fell, or something like that. Almost at the end of the book, the reader finds out that Matt died in a slightly different way than you might have thought happened. I did not find this very believable, but, other readers might see some truth in it I could not see. To me, it just didn’t read right.

I did enjoy this book, to a point. It scared me. It was a very uncomfortable read, due to the subject matter. This is not a book I think I will decide to read again someday. However, I did like the style of Picoult’s writing, her ability to create characters that seemed very real, and her way of weaving things into the story as it goes along. Picoult takes a concept that has been getting a lot of media attention lately, and makes a story from it that is not only original, but also deep, and very engaging. This just wasn’t the book for me. I think I would like to try another of Picoult’s books someday, about a different topic. She is a great writer, but this book just freaks me out.