The Secret by Rhonda Byrne

I hate this book.

I hate this book, the audio version, AND the corresponding DVD.

I hate, hate, HATE that everywhere I look, (and everywhere I listen), this book is being talked about.

Oprah, what have you done? Your influence has unleashed this evil on to the world, and now, it seems unstoppable!

For anyone who has somehow not heard of this book, let me explain a bit. It’s a New Age book, that tells “You” what the secret is to getting absolutely everything you want in life. Seriously. Its a magic “Fairy Godmother” bound between two hard covers.

It is evil incarnate.

Rhonda Byrne is at best condescending to her readers, and at worst, downright dangerous to them. In the first part of the book, she specifies, in no uncertain terms, that in parts of this book she capitalizes the word “You”. This means, she explains, that she is speaking directly to “You”. We must be morons if we actually need that explained in such a way. Don’t most books speak to their readers? Don’t most people have the basic grasp of how books “work”? But, I guess that Byrne is just so much smarter than her readers, that we need that clarified, or we wouldn’t get it. It would go right over our collective heads. Oops! I mean “my” head, since the book is talking directly to me, and me alone, right? Never mind the millions of other copies of this book out there, and the people reading them.

The marketing for this book actually makes me ill. The cover, of the book, audio book, and DVD, looks specifically designed to resemble The Da Vinci Code. (Don’t even get me started on that piece of crap!) So maybe, the same people who believed that the fiction book was somehow true in it’s entirety will pick up this new book and believe every word of it too. Preying on the weak minded. Makes me ill.

I hate that it is actually called “The Secret”! Who doesn’t want to be in on a secret? I mean, it must be something really important and interesting, or else, why would it be kept as a secret, right? Even if you really don’t give a darn about what this particular secret is that everyone is so hot about right now, you still might be compelled to find out. You don’t want to be the only person who wasn’t let in on the big secret, right? Let’s just go back to tactics that grade schoolers use for popularity, and high schoolers use to destroy each other’s reputations. Great idea. Oh, and lets use it to make money for ourselves! How high minded of you, Rhonda Byrne!

Byrne uses another tactic that one sees in every high school. Since she was basically unknown to the general public before this nasty book appeared absolutely everywhere, she name drops to make herself more accepted. She uses lots of well known self-help writers, etc., in her book. I mean, if Wayne Dyer thinks “The Secret” is something good, maybe I should check it out too! After all, Dyer is super popular. She used tons of people as validation to her crackpot ideas. Despicable.

What is the big secret? Well, it’s basically “The power of Positive Thinking”, with a new, catchier, name. With a sadistic twist, mind you. It goes something like this:

Byrne says that if you want something, anything at all, you can get it just by thinking about it. Nothing else is required, except thinking. Want a new BMW? Well, think about one parked in your driveway. Do it long enough, and correctly, and one day, you will open the door and a BMW will have magically appeared.

Bibbity, Bobbity, Boo!

But what if that BMW doesn’t appear? Well, it’s simply because you aren’t thinking positively enough. It’s not because you never saved up to buy one, or because you never got off your butt and even went shopping for one. It’s because you weren’t thinking positively enough. It’s your fault. You must have been still thinking about not getting that car, even a teeny bit, even subconsciously. Or, you must have spent too much time thinking about regular, less flashy cars. Or even looking at them as they pass by on the street. No BMW for you, loser!

Ok, now, it sounds rather silly, I admit. I don’t think many people are really going to believe that the power of their thoughts alone with get them a pimped out shiny new vehicle.

What I feel is completely immoral is Byrne’s application of this concept to weight loss. See, she lost a bunch of weight using this method alone, has never gained it back, and can eat whatever, whenever, she wants.

Want to lose weight like Byrne did? Here’s what she tells you (oh, excuse me, I mean “You”), to do. Think about yourself in your ideal weight. Don’t buy clothes in the size you are now, just in this size this “ideal” would be. You don’t need to exercise. You don’t need to change your diet. Just think about being that size you want to be, and *POOF* your weight will magically become exactly what you want. Oh, and you also will be able to just eat whatever you desire, all the time. Don’t make any lifestyle changes, just think, think, think! Byrne did it, right? Could she possibly have made this a more tempting message? What person who is struggling with weight issues or food issues is NOT going to want to believe that?

So, what happens if you try this Secret, and still find that you aren’t losing weight? Well, it’s because you aren’t doing it right. Byrne’s book actually says things to that effect. You must have still been thinking about your current weight. Or, you just don’t have the confidence to give yourself what you really want. Or, and this is the part that really pisses me off, you can’t lose the weight because you spent time around overweight people. That’s right! Byrne says to “not observe” people who are fat.

Let’s just take a group of people who already are having difficulties in life because of a weight issue, and make them non- entities. It’s not like this group doesn’t already struggle with prejudices, or self esteem issues. Let’s make it even harder on them! Because now, if I can’t lose the weight I want, and I followed the Secret, then it must be fat people’s fault! Never mind that I don’t exercise or eat right.

Way to go, Rhonda Byrne! Advocate picking on the one group left in America who it’s still politically correct to bully. What a saint you are!

I am fearful about what happens a few months down the road, when,(if there is a God!), this book is no longer a best seller. Millions of people across America are going to have failed at this impossible magic. And, if they believed the book enough to really honestly give it their best effort, they now will have been taught to believe that they are a failure. Suicides will skyrocket.

I sneer at the stacks of this vile book every time I have to pass it by in the Bookstore I work in. I cringe when someone calls and wants me to put a copy on hold for them. I swear at Oprah, who is now the reason I am forced to sell to the general public something this ungodly evil and wrong.

The cover says “The Secret” and “Byrne”.
Great idea!
*storm off to find a lighter and some kerosine*

And, if you don’t want to take my word for it, then check out this article from Newsweek:
Newsweek Hates It Too

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